Without words
by One step ahead
Summary: [Oneshot] She kept telling herself he was only James... Except he never was.


Without words.

DISCLAIMER: -sigh- I own nothing.

She twirled gracefully and his arm, loosely circling her waist, forewarned her of a dip. She moved closer to him and he grasped her arm tightly before suddenly dipping her, her back arching slightly.

They were the cynosure of all eyes in the ballroom. Everyone spellbound by the glow on her cheeks, the subtle light in his eyes as they maneuvered like one across the large, lit up hall. It seemed as if they had all been made to be in this moment, to watch these two dance, so perfectly, so completely.

And Lily Evans was furious.

With herself, with Potter and especially with Dumbledore for complying with her stupid, senseless requests.

She made a tiny growling sound as she watched them twirl faster and faster across the room, watching how good they looked together. Her blonde hair a perfect contrast to his raven black, her blue eyes matching the passion in his hazel ones. She watched them dance and slowly felt herself getting angrier and angrier, her heart sinking with every new beat at how happy he looked with that little chit in his arms. She wished she hadn't turned down the offer to open the Christmas ball.

_But it's only Potter_, she told herself.

That seemed to shake her a bit. It WAS only Potter. Potter, whom she had spent the better part of her life loathing.

_But that's changed lately, hasn't it? _said that annoying little voice at the back of her head which always seemed to wake up at the wrong moments.

_It has NOT._

_Yes, it has._

_No it hasn't._

_Yes it HAS._

_No it hasn't!_

_Then why all the jealousy watching him dance with Perinne?_

_Ha! I am not JEALOUS. Please! I'm just a better dancer than she is. Look at her footwork, it's terrible._

_You're jealous because they look so good together._

_Do shut up. They look horrible._

_You're jealous and you're lying to yourself._

_I am NOT jealous._

_You **are** jealous. You, my dear have fallen for Potter._

_What? That is the **most ridiculous** thing I have ever heard in my LIFE!_

_Ridiculous, yes, but Lily Evans is in love with James Potter._

"I am NOT in love with James Potter!"

All eyes turned towards her as James and Perinne twirled one last time and the orchestra wound up the first dance.

Lily's cheeks came to match the colour of her hair.

"E-e-excuse me…" she said as she pushed past the Hogwarts population to escape to the gardens.

She walked out into the comforting darkness away from her peers, glad to have something to cover her blush.

"You're going crazy Lily Evans. You're in love with Potter and you just had a conversation with yourself."

She breathed in the cool night air and sighed. Hogwarts looked so beautiful at night…

The pitch black darkness…

_Like his hair…_

The grass damp with dew…

_His eyes bright with excitement…_

The sky, clear… alluring…

_Even more alluring with him flying through it looking like he hasn't a care in the world…_

She sighed again, frustrated. It was useless.

And sort of sickening.

How could she love _Potter_?

Potter? The same boy who had made her dance like a chicken because he had won a bet? The same boy who had humiliated her by calling her carrot top all through first year? The same boy who had mercilessly teased her and called her teacher's pet?

_The same boy who has grown up to be strong, smart and intelligent. The same boy who sat by you when you cried about Petunia's increasing hostility. The same boy who has become less loathsome and more a comfort to have around. There's no use denying it… Everyone knows it._

Everyone knows it.

"I DON'T KNOW IT! I DON'T, I DON'T AND I NEVER WILL!"

But that annoying voice in her head, which she was beginning to suspect was an echo of her heart, said otherwise.

Lily sat down abruptly glaring at the moon angrily as if daring it to tell her she felt something for James Potter other than anything platonic.

"Evans?"

It was James.

Why… why did his voice have to be like that… like chicken soup… like chocolate… like everything good in the world…

"Evans?"

The voice was tinted with a bit of worry now… Well that was not surprising considering that the very self possessed red head had plopped herself on the grass, glaring at the moon…

"EVANS!"

"Chocolate soup!" she barked.

"What?" James asked approaching cautiously wondering what on earth had gotten into Lily Evans.

"Erm… eh, nothing… not dancing, Potter?"

"I was going to, but they told me you'd left the hall…"

She laughed. A clear tinkling laugh that cut through the crisp air.

"You're weird, stag boy…"

"I know. So are you going to tell me what's been going on with you this past week? Ever since dance practice began, I've hardly seen you. Avoiding me, Evans?"

"What if I am?"

He lowered himself to the ground directly in front of her and trained his eyes of her face, aglow with the light of the moon.

"I thought we were friends."

"We are friends."

His gaze intensified.

"Really?"

_Make him stop looking at me like that,_ she thought as her skin prickled with goosebumps.

"Really?" he asked again.

"Yes… Yes, of course."

"Friends don't avoid each other."

"You didn't seem to mind, particularly when you were swinging around with that sassy Perinne."

"It was easier when I pretended her eyes were green."

She finally pulled away her gaze from the moon.

He was looking at her again and she felt light and dizzy.

_Soup_, she thought incoherently.

His laugh snapped her back to reality.

"What do you want, James?"

"To take over the earth, be minister of magic, and win the Quidditch World Cup."

Lily suppressed a laugh. She raised herself off the ground and brushed off the grass.

"Seriously, Potter. What is it?"

"I just want to know what's going on with you!"

"NOTHING is going on with me!"

"So we're friends?"

"Yes, Potter, we're _friends_" she said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

James caught on quick. He grinned and asked, "Just friends?"

Lily, who had been walking towards the castle, stopped dead, her breath catching in her throat. She felt his presence dangerously close to her

"J-j-j-j…"

He leaned in and whispered, his breath hot, directly in her ear. "Just friends?"

_Chocolate... _"I don't know what you want me to say, James."

"I want you to tell me how you really feel. It's not like I don't know."

"If you know… then why are you asking me?"

"Because I like bugging you."

She glared at him and moved away as he sat down again.

"So, Lily, tell me what you feel."

"I feel tired."

"What you feel about me."

"I feel that you are an obnoxious pig head and an insufferable prat."

"But…"

"But what?"

"There's no BUT?"

"Why would there be a but?"

"How can there NOT be a but? We're outside… covered by a blanket of stars... ALONE… You were just dead jealous about me dancing with that blondie… and now you say there's no BUT?"

"There is no but!"

"There has to be a but! Swear in the name of Dumbledore there's no but!"

"Okay! Alright! There's a but."

The agitation in his eyes dissipated quickly and his mouth curved into a probing smile.

"But…"

"But… but… Oh, Lord, I might as well just say it… You're an obnoxious pig and a showoff… BUT you're good at transfiguration."

"WHAT? I came here so you can tell me that I'm good at TRANSFIGURATION? Are you bloody mad, woman?"

"You wanted the but."

He glared at her, got up and stalked away.

"But…"

He whipped around.

"But… I like being around you…" Her cheeks were scarlet and her eyes were shining as she stared at her shoes.

"And?" he eyed her suspiciously.

"You want an AND now!"

He shrugged and turned away, apparently ready to walk back.

"For heaven's sake, Potter, I just figured it out myself, can't you give me some time? This is frightening news!"

James grinned harder than ever and walked up to her.

Again he lowered his face to hers and whispered in her ear.

"You know what, Evans? Me too."

He took her hand and for once she didn't try to wriggle it out of his grasp.

Their words hung in the air as they walked up to the lake.

Later Lily would recount how the first time she told James she loved him, she…

Well, she never really told him at all.

A/N: Cheesy, stupid, idiotic. All those adjectives and more but I was bored and I didn't really want to start a new story… So oneshots all the way :) Please leave a review!


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